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Icebreaker Tips: Making the First Move
Sending the first email: Getting attention
In the world of online dating, you have about 10 seconds to make a good first impression, so good writing skills can really make your correspondence sparkle.
You've found a profile and you'd like to contact him/her. It may not be your first connection at Date.com, but without the right opening line, it could be more difficult to get a response. So how do you make contact with a complete stranger anonymously online-to express interest and a desire to learn more?
The one basic rule to keep in mind is to get personal. Focus on what attracted you in the first place. It could have been the photo, or the profile. By following the tips we've provided below, you will be that much closer to overcoming that first hurdle of breaking the ice.
You can break the perfect icebreaker email into four distinct parts:
Intro
Mention something personal about him/her/ Compliment
Information about you
Question/ Invite to respond
You'll want to keep your initial email friendly, brief and to the point. Don't mention how much you want/need a relationship or how you're just getting over a devastating break up. Don't try to persuade someone that you are the right person for them. It's too soon. In fact, don't mention anything that can be construed as even remotely negative. Ideally, you want your email to elicit warm fuzzy feelings, to come across as flirtatious and friendly, and ultimately to make the receiver feel a bit special.
Here is an example of an initial email that has all the right ingredients:
Subject: Wow!!! Hey Sailor!
Hi there, Sunshine004,
I came across your profile and was taken by your smile, what you had to say about the mountains, and the fact that you're into crew sailing. I haven't been on the site that long but I have to say that I think there is something to online chemistry after all.
I work as a fireman out here in Long Beach and I really love what I do. I'm originally from North Dakota and I'm really enjoying the Mediterranean climate Southern California has to offer. Talk about a shock to the system. When I'm not working, I also crew on a team out at the North Point Marina. Maybe I've seen you there?
I'd love to chat more if you're interested. I'll look for your email when I return from retrieving neighborhood cats from the Long Beach trees.
Take care,
Michael
Introduction
Relax and converse
Your first contact doesn't have to be a chore. Instead be positive and consider your task a pleasure. Begin your correspondence as though you were contacting a good friend. Keep your introduction light-hearted.
Use the subject of your email to catch their attention
A lot of people look at the subject of the email to determine whether they will open and read the email or throw it out. Don't use a generic subject such as "response to your personal ad." Use something more personal such as "Hey trailblazer, I checked you out." (if they mentioned they like hiking, for example).
Mention Something about Him/Her
For conversation ideas, closely reread the person's profile
One of the keys to good communication is talking about something that interests the other person. You can get amazing clues to their interests by carefully rereading every aspect of that person's profile and by analyzing the background of pictures they have posted.
For example, if someone says in their profile "I love to travel" then that is your cue to ask questions like "Where's the most fascinating place you've ever been?" By showing an interest in the other person's interests you are improving the communication that the two of you share.
You might find incredibly interesting fodder for conversation-everything from pets, politics and TV interests to collections, tattoos and fashion sense. If something catches your eye, ask about it!
Give Compliments
Compliment the person
based on information provided in the personal... everyone loves a compliment. Briefly state what you have in common and tell the person you look forward to hearing from him or her.
If you're enjoying the communication, say so
One of the reasons that relationship books are so successful is because of the large communication barrier between men and women. This can cause a lot of "guessing" to go on in the minds of both people. Thus, if you're enjoying the communication you are having with another person, let them know:
"I'm really enjoying our conversations."
"You're a great person. I'm glad we ran into each other."
A little line, like the above, added to the end of one of your emails clearly lets the person know how you're feeling and makes it easier for the process to progress.
Information about You
Express yourself, reveal yourself
Simply listing sports, movies or songs you like won't give us a sense of the real you. The more dimensions of your personality you advertise, the better your chances that one of those qualities or quirks will stand out to the person who's perfect for you. Delve beneath the surface stuff so your love of jet-skiing, post-modern art, karaoke - whatever - tells us something about who you are, not just how you spend your time. Hint: As an example, rather than simply stating that you adore horror movies, be specific. Tell us about your favorite scene in your favorite horror movie. This shows depth and attention to detail.
Humor
Are you the funny one in your group of friends? Show it with the words you choose. You don't have to be a stand-up comedian ... just share your humorous, ironic or even slightly warped takes on life with us, and we'll love you for it. If you're stumped, then check out same sex profile headlines for inspiration.
Keep your response short
Some people's profiles can generate a lot of responses, so opening a long-winded email might be a bit overwhelming and time consuming. Hence, your email might be tossed out unread. When responding to a personal ad for the first time, don't drone on about yourself even if the personal ad asked you to. Just a few highlights are fine. Make your response fun, uplifting, and drop a couple hints about yourself.
Ask Questions
Ask questions
Be sure to ask questions... nothing personal, just a question or two based on their profile or unrelated to their profile about that person's interests and lifestyle, in order to make it easy for the communication to continue. Keep the conversation flowing, and do not focus solely on yourself. An email void of questions creates a potential stopping point in the communication process. Thank the reader for his or her time, and let them know you'd like to hear back. Often a simple fear of rejection stops one from responding.
Dealbreakers
Follow the Golden Rule
If you are no longer interested in communicating with a person, don't just disappear. Send them a short and respectful note that you are pursuing some other matches and wish them the best of luck. Treat others as you would want to be treated. Dating is difficult enough, a non-personal soft goodbye is just kind.
Use proper communication
Many people, women especially, are turned off by men they don't know who, out of the blue, start referring to as "babe," "sexy," etc. Refer to the person by their profile name (or first name if given in the profile).
Use a spellcheck
You'll be taken more seriously if you come across as articulate. There's nothing worse than a person describing themselves as intelligent while misspelling the word intelligent as they do so.
Avoid generic messages
This type of email stands out - and not in a good way. A canned email is typically one generic paragraph or two of text (typically about the sender only) copied, pasted and delivered to member after member after member. Your response should be personal and geared specifically toward the person you are responding to. Keep in mind that some people belong to more than one dating service, and receiving the same generic email on different sites pretty much guarantees that the sender will be blacklisted, if only on the basis of having zero originality.
Make sure you're compatible
Don't ignore the vital stats section of a profile. If you fall outside a member's requirements (age, family, education, etc.), you may not get a reply.
So now you know? Keep your initial email positive, short, friendly and light-hearted. Never send canned emails, and shy away from a rundown of info about yourself. Mention a shared interest, inquire into common hobbies and let the conversation flow naturally. And remember, above all, relax and have fun!
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在線雷達
發表於 2012-4-11 14:56:57
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發表於 2012-4-11 19:53:14
